That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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