the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
