Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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