is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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