I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
