I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am one with the molecules
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
