im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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