got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize