im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
