omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
