My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
