i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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