You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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