Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need a burrito and a hug.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
