ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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