Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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