D3 body, D1 cock
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
