When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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