we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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