Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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