I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
