No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
