i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
