DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
