So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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