Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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