Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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