So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
