We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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