walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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