Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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