I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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