I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
