so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
