come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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