You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
