the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
