Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
