literally had 100 drinks last night.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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