I met the friendliest cop last night
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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