apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
