Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
