I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your cock deserves a montage
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
