He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize