i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
