Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
