we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
