are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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