Duck Duck Cougar?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why do cheetos always look like penises
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think people are normalizing furries
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
