Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
