i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
