Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
