like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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