garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
