so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
