It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
